Note: From Elizabeth Kirkley Best PhD

Still around, folks, and The Forgotten Grief has not changed hands nor added any other authors. Until forgottengrief.com is back online, I will on occasion feature pages from the main site. The work on The Forgotten Grief is still soley mine unless noted otherwise, and no one else may edit or write on the site. This is to assure the quality of the site. Over the years several people have tried to waylay this and other sites for their personal views, or to sell what has been offered for free all these years. My aim is to make materials from my early career and a few other new offerings available to aid and comfort, not to merchandise. Please help keep this site free. Many blessings, Dr. Elizabeth Kirkley Best , Director.

The Forgotten Grief: Questions Mothers and Fathers Frequently Ask: Frequently Asked Questions: I was just wondering if a baby stays a baby when God takes it to Heaven? Or does it automatically become of a certain age? Or does it grow up in Heaven to a certain age. I miscarried about 22 years ago at about 12 weeks. My niece just miscarriage at 7 months. When we get to Heaven will our babies be babies or adults? The Bible does not give complete details of how we will look or be in heaven, but it does give a few ideas. Age will not matter: there is not the same sense of time we have here as in eternity. The saved of God are given a new body fit for life in eternity (I Cor 15), and there we are "known as we are known". 1Cr 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. When a Christian 'walks' in the Holy Spirit, we are given understanding and can 'see' what we cannot 'see' at other times-- clarity in an idea, the needs of another etc, and although it is not a literal seeing , more often than not, it is with understanding and assurity. We will know each other in Heaven. A well known radio pastor, Chuck Smith, in response to a similar question once noted that we will 'not be more stupid in Heaven than we are here". ---we will know one another but not bare the same relationship to one another: one may discern this by the answers Jesus gave regarding marriage and re-marriage in which he noted that in heaven none are given in 'marriage': it is a real place, Heaven, but it is not of the same nature as earth, nor will our bodies be. You will have full joy in reunion with the children you have lost: you will rejoice when you see them, and will live with them in the presence of a Loving Lord and Savior if you are dwelling in Him, and He in you. Heaven is for the saved of God, those who come His Way, through the atoning work of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the LIfe. When we have received Him and walk in Him, Heaven is assured for us, and we will have that joy of reunion with those who have gone on before. We often draw pictures of Jesus holding a baby to give an idea of the Love of the Savior for the little ones, and the site explains on the page God and Your Baby , that they go fully to Heaven with the greatest assurance we can have from Scriptures. God is more merciful than we are: our journeys can be from a a few minutes or less to up to 100 or more years, but each life counts and is precious to God, and each is used in the plan of His reign and Kingdom. Your baby is held in His love and care. You will see them again. Cordially,Elizabeth Kirkley Best PhD forgottengrief@gmail.com Back to HomeContact Us &copy 1981, 2004 Elizabeth Kirkley Best PhDTitle taken from "The Forgotten Grief" published in American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 1982.

On Santorum and Mourning a Stillbirth

A response to the 'weird' criticism of Santorum

http://www.commentarymagazine.com/2012/01/05/partisan-politics-santorum-stillborn-baby/

I worked with families grieving stillborns for many years in regional care facilities and in the community. Each parent and family grieve very differently and in a society bereft of understanding regarding death and mourning, it is little surprise to find no understanding regarding the mourning of a stillborn son or daughter. Parents need closure and time to say good bye, a feat usually briefly accomplished in a hospital's cold and clinical setting: if the Santorums had the great grace of quietly saying good bye in their home, then they are the blessed ones: our society cannot possibly address in its hardheartedness the enormous strength of character it takes to live through the death of a stillborn, and to go on to maintain a healthy and strong marriage and family, and then even contend for the highest office of the land: it is a sign of character and fortitude. The decision to see and hold and say quiet good byes to the smallest member of the family is healthy, expected, and waylays later possible emotional problems: it is called 'closure' and is not weird nor odd, but an expression of love with tears and in my estimation a clear sign of a strong candidate who values life at all ages. Many blessings to a fine candidate.